RIT Forecast

by Joe McLaughlin

Note: This story appeared in our April Fools Distorter issue and is for comedic value only.

29 Saturday

The Game
Ritter Arena, 2:30 p.m. – 5:30 p.m. RIT’s The Game team takes on SUNY Brockport in the game where every time you remember that The Game exists, you lose. The very knowledge of its existence means you are playing. Go Tigers! Cost: $4 students, $6 faculty/staff, $8 others.

30 Sunday

Nothing ever happens at RIT on Sunday. Do your damn homework or something.

31 Monday

Sunny
Outside, 7 a.m. – 7:30 p.m. Unlike most days in Rochester, the sun will actually be visible in the sky! Go outside and enjoy it if you are that kind of person. Not your cup of tea? Pull the shades down in your dorm and don’t go outside and be antisocial. Cost: $7.99 for a cheap pair of sunglasses.

1 Tuesday

Lunch ‘n Learning Workshop: Getting a Date
Building 1-2358, 12 noon - 1 p.m. Do you have a crushing lack of self confidence? Do you have trouble talking to that special someone? This class will help you muster the courage to ask them to coffee (by which I mean “coffee”) sometime. Cost: Bring your own lunch.

2 Wednesday

Apocalypse Now
Everywhere. Not the 1979 Academy Award winning movie about the Vietnam War. This is the actual end of the world. Say hello to the horsemen before they drag you to hell. Don’t forget to ask if horseman means “man riding horse” or “halfman half-horse.” I hear they like that. Cost: Free.

3 Thursday

CAB Thursday Night Cinema: Ernest Goes to Canada
Ingle Auditorium, 10 p.m. – 12 midnight. Ernest goes shopping for a new flannel sweater for Vern, but gets stopped at the border. Hijinks ensue. Free maple syrup and milk in a bag to the first 100 moviegoers. Cost: Free.

4 Friday

WoW Raid
Sunwell Plateau, 8:30 p.m. – 5:45 a.m. Kill a bunch of enemies and pwn some n00bs. And get p3h4t l00t! Cost: $15/month. Also, your soul.

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In This Issue
News RIT to Create Reckless Driving Lane Campus Rebuilt with iBrick Technology Reporter No More iPhone Hacker Hacks Sun RIT Forecast Crime Watch Leisure The Bitch Is Back	Leisure (Cont.) Our Sincerest Apologies RIT Questionnaire Features RIT Guy Finally Gets the Girl That Toaster Sports Sports Desk: Beer Pong Views RIT Rings Editorial Editor's Note: Web 3.0

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