Reporter Online

RIT Rings

by Karl Voelker
  
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All calls subject to editing and truncation. Not all calls will be run. Reporter reserves the right to publish all calls in any format.

Saturday, 6:15 p.m.
RIT Rings, I've missed you over break. My bed has been so lonely and cold.

Friday, 12:10 p.m.
Well, I was supposed to run into the George Eastman Building and pick up a check today, RIT Rings, and what happened was that there’s some President’s Round Table or something…some SAT thing, I don’t know. The parking lots are full, and D Lot is full, so I asked if I could park in the Simone Loop, so I could just run in and grab my check, and he said, “No.” I had to park in G or H Lot, which is, like, 40 minutes away from the George Eastman Building. It’s ridiculous. Students are treated like second-class citizens compared to whatever the President has going on.

Sunday, 5:43 p.m.
RIT, you suck! What the [beep]! We don’t have no type of [silly] RA no more! We didn’t know our RA got fired! What’s up with that? [I am angry at you], RIT!

Sunday, 12:40 a.m.
Yo, I haven’t seen one [plowing] plow all night and it’s snowing like [Lassie]. Tell RIT to get on plowing this [excrement] ‘cause I almost died earlier from these [sinful] plows. It was epic!

Monday, 7:48 p.m.
Day One of classes, and my philosophy professor just said that ‘implicit’ means that it’s not ‘explicit.’ Way to go.

Monday, 7:07 p.m.
I just got a paper outside my dormitory saying that someone had called and left a threat. I hope it wasn’t to this number, because if it was, the fact that there are now papers and e-mails and other notices flying around would be really, really sad.

Sunday, 7:27 p.m.
I am driving home from break, which sucks, because I have class tomorrow. But anyway, I’m listening to The Pretenders.

Wednesday, 7:32 p.m.
We’re just calling you from space here at WITR. I say listen to bad radio, Wednesdays 8:00 to 10:00, live from space. It’s ballin’ in space. 89.7, badradio.info. Live blog later!

Sunday, 1:50 a.m.
I’m going to flip out if I don’t find some Lunchables right now.

Saturday, 1:37 a.m.
I’m in Philadelphia right now. I can’t believe how many girls there are and how much more fun it is. For being in the middle of Rochester, it’s surprising how secluded RIT really is. I’m having a great time and I hope you have—well actually, you won’t have a good one, because there aren’t girls around.

Thursday, 7:47 a.m.
Whee! Hi Reporter! Like, oh my gosh, I just stayed up all night, and it’s so frickin’ awesome! So awesome that the awesomeness swells and should be so awesome that everyone who has this (and I’m not drunk, I swear, I just stayed up all night) and it’s so good that your mom should be on this, yeah, your mom should be on this! Totally frickin’ on this! Oh my gosh! I love you, Reporter! I should sleep.

Tuesday, 12:26 a.m.
Oh, I just called again by accident.

Call 585.672.4840


In This Issue
News
Ritz Goes Green
RIT Finds A New Provost
SG Weekly Update
RIT Forecast
Leisure
But Is It Smashing?
The Gallery r Benefit
The Wall-Mountable Gumball Machine
Bob Mould & Giraffes? Giraffes!
At Your Leisure
Features
Cochlear Implants
The Renaming Of Bell Hall
That Girl: Li Evans
Sports
RIT’s Hockey Season Ends
Regaining The Momentum
Sports Desk: Men's Lacrosse
Views
Illogical Consumption
RIT Rings
Editorial
Editor's Note

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